It’s that time of year. The weather is growing cooler, the leaves
are getting brighter and now that your kids have started another semester of
school, you can’t help but think about the day you send them off to college –
especially if you have a high school senior at home.
Well, before you pack them up and ship them off with your eyes
full of tears and a bank account full of nothing (after paying for your kid’s
first year of school), here are seven things you should remind your son or
daughter to leave behind.
The old flame. Unless
they’re heading to the same college, it’s time to bid the high school
sweetheart goodbye. They may be convinced that they’re the exception to the
rule, and even though everyone else’s long distance college relationships have
failed, their's won’t. Sorry to break it to you, but chances are, they’re not
the exception. If your son’s high school girlfriend is the greatest thing that
has ever happened to him, don’t worry; odds are good that he’ll meet someone
just as lovely, wholesome, and likely more mature, in college. And she’ll be
good for him, too.
The word “like.” While it
has its purpose in the English vocabulary, the word “like” has been used
(excessively, at times) and abused as a “filler” term. With the equivalent of
“um,” those who over use this word often leave listeners with an impression of
immaturity and adolescence. Neither of which are the type of first impression
your child wants to leave with their new college buddies. So, if they have a
habit of using “like” as an adverb, adjective, noun and preposition - all in
the same sentence – then it’s time they start weeding it out of their
vernacular.
The letterman jacket. So they
played 12 different sports in high school. Great, but nobody at their new
school cares. They’re not being mean, they just live in the present, and
presently, your son doesn’t play on a single organized sports team. Unless of
course he is a student athlete, in which case, he still shouldn’t sport the
letterman. He is part of a new school now, a new program, a new team. Time to
move on. If your kid enjoys sports, and really is talented, he or she will want
to sign up for intramural sports. They can show off their stuff on the field or
court, rather than on their shoulders.
The need to be popular. Not to be
confused with the need to fit in, or be liked. It’s one thing to have real
friends and another to try to work your way into a crowd that everyone seems to
like, even if you have nothing in common with them. It’s not high school
anymore. Your child will meet a lot more people, with a lot more interests and
different life experiences. While cliques still exist, and always will, your
daughter will be much better off if she finds a group of friends that make her
feel important and happy. Not the group that looks like they just walked out of
an Ambercrombie & Fitch catalog. The nice thing about college is that your
kid isn’t stuck inside the same building all day with the captain of the
football team and his cheerleader girlfriend. She doesn’t have to compare
herself to them. She can learn to accept herself for who she is, and find
friends who do the same.
The entire bedroom. Odds are
that everything your teenager kept in her bedroom at home will not fit in her
5’ x 5’ excuse for a dorm room. In fact, she may be lucky to get half of it in
there. Especially after she fills up the top three drawers with nothing but her
bathroom inventory. This may be a good
time to introduce consolidation. Good luck.
The funny stories from home. Sure,
they’re side-splittingly hilarious when your boy tells them around the family
and his high school buddies. But his new roommates aren’t going to know his high
school friend, Jason, from Adam. As a result, he’ll start ending all his
stories with, “I guess you had to be there,” since they won’t be nearly as
funny to a disassociated audience. Now, before you start claiming I suggested
your son forget the fond memories of his youth, be aware, that is not what I’m
implying. Those experiences are valuable, and may have even played a role in
shaping him into the young man he is today. They ought to be preserved. But now
that he is in college, he has the chance to make a lot more stories with a new
group of comrades. And his friends will actually laugh with him when he tells
them – because they were there.
The fear of unfamiliarity. Some of us
handle this better than others, but if your teenager is remotely similar to the
rest of us, they prefer to stay within their comfort zone. While there is
nothing inherently wrong with being comfortable, your child will miss out on
some amazing experiences if they choose never to venture beyond their limits of
contentment. Speaking up in a class of 500 peers, getting involved in their
favorite student organization, going skiing when it’s the first time they’ve
ever seen snow, or asking out that hottie who sits in the front row of class
each week. They may all require courage. And in return, they may all pay great
dividends. Everything in college is new. If they’re prepared to embrace that
unfamiliarity, their first year will be a richer and more memorable experience.
Transitioning to college can be a difficult and exciting time for
your teenager. It’s a time to grow up, experience new things, meet new people
and face different challenges. Knowing what
they can expect, and what to pack or send with them, can help ease that
transition – for both them and you. So the next time (or the first time) you
send your daughter off to college, and you’re trying to keep the hernia at bay
while hauling her 500 pound suitcase out the door from her downstairs bedroom,
you’ll reflect on this list and be grateful that at least she didn’t pack the
letterman jacket.
