7 Things your kids should leave behind when they go to college

It’s that time of year. The weather is growing cooler, the leaves are getting brighter and now that your kids have started another semester of school, you can’t help but think about the day you send them off to college – especially if you have a high school senior at home.

Well, before you pack them up and ship them off with your eyes full of tears and a bank account full of nothing (after paying for your kid’s first year of school), here are seven things you should remind your son or daughter to leave behind.

The old flame. Unless they’re heading to the same college, it’s time to bid the high school sweetheart goodbye. They may be convinced that they’re the exception to the rule, and even though everyone else’s long distance college relationships have failed, their's won’t. Sorry to break it to you, but chances are, they’re not the exception. If your son’s high school girlfriend is the greatest thing that has ever happened to him, don’t worry; odds are good that he’ll meet someone just as lovely, wholesome, and likely more mature, in college. And she’ll be good for him, too.

The word “like.” While it has its purpose in the English vocabulary, the word “like” has been used (excessively, at times) and abused as a “filler” term. With the equivalent of “um,” those who over use this word often leave listeners with an impression of immaturity and adolescence. Neither of which are the type of first impression your child wants to leave with their new college buddies. So, if they have a habit of using “like” as an adverb, adjective, noun and preposition - all in the same sentence – then it’s time they start weeding it out of their vernacular.

The letterman jacket. So they played 12 different sports in high school. Great, but nobody at their new school cares. They’re not being mean, they just live in the present, and presently, your son doesn’t play on a single organized sports team. Unless of course he is a student athlete, in which case, he still shouldn’t sport the letterman. He is part of a new school now, a new program, a new team. Time to move on. If your kid enjoys sports, and really is talented, he or she will want to sign up for intramural sports. They can show off their stuff on the field or court, rather than on their shoulders.

The need to be popular. Not to be confused with the need to fit in, or be liked. It’s one thing to have real friends and another to try to work your way into a crowd that everyone seems to like, even if you have nothing in common with them. It’s not high school anymore. Your child will meet a lot more people, with a lot more interests and different life experiences. While cliques still exist, and always will, your daughter will be much better off if she finds a group of friends that make her feel important and happy. Not the group that looks like they just walked out of an Ambercrombie & Fitch catalog. The nice thing about college is that your kid isn’t stuck inside the same building all day with the captain of the football team and his cheerleader girlfriend. She doesn’t have to compare herself to them. She can learn to accept herself for who she is, and find friends who do the same.

The entire bedroom. Odds are that everything your teenager kept in her bedroom at home will not fit in her 5’ x 5’ excuse for a dorm room. In fact, she may be lucky to get half of it in there. Especially after she fills up the top three drawers with nothing but her bathroom inventory. This may be a good time to introduce consolidation. Good luck.

The funny stories from home. Sure, they’re side-splittingly hilarious when your boy tells them around the family and his high school buddies. But his new roommates aren’t going to know his high school friend, Jason, from Adam. As a result, he’ll start ending all his stories with, “I guess you had to be there,” since they won’t be nearly as funny to a disassociated audience. Now, before you start claiming I suggested your son forget the fond memories of his youth, be aware, that is not what I’m implying. Those experiences are valuable, and may have even played a role in shaping him into the young man he is today. They ought to be preserved. But now that he is in college, he has the chance to make a lot more stories with a new group of comrades. And his friends will actually laugh with him when he tells them – because they were there.  

The fear of unfamiliarity. Some of us handle this better than others, but if your teenager is remotely similar to the rest of us, they prefer to stay within their comfort zone. While there is nothing inherently wrong with being comfortable, your child will miss out on some amazing experiences if they choose never to venture beyond their limits of contentment. Speaking up in a class of 500 peers, getting involved in their favorite student organization, going skiing when it’s the first time they’ve ever seen snow, or asking out that hottie who sits in the front row of class each week. They may all require courage. And in return, they may all pay great dividends. Everything in college is new. If they’re prepared to embrace that unfamiliarity, their first year will be a richer and more memorable experience.

Transitioning to college can be a difficult and exciting time for your teenager. It’s a time to grow up, experience new things, meet new people and face different challenges.  Knowing what they can expect, and what to pack or send with them, can help ease that transition – for both them and you. So the next time (or the first time) you send your daughter off to college, and you’re trying to keep the hernia at bay while hauling her 500 pound suitcase out the door from her downstairs bedroom, you’ll reflect on this list and be grateful that at least she didn’t pack the letterman jacket.    

Is affordable tuition a myth? Not at Utah State

Utah State University recently made changes to two non-resident scholarships that could make it more affordable for your children or grandchildren to become Aggies, too.

Thanks to new legislation from the State of Utah, USU has been able to make changes to the Nonresident Waiver and Legacy Waiver scholarships that may benefit you and your family.

Here are those changes, and what they mean for you.

Nonresident Waiver

The qualifications for the Nonresident Waiver have been expanded. Now out-of-state students with an index score of 113 or greater (see what this means) will be automatically considered for this scholarship, when they apply for admission to Utah State. This award will waive the entire portion of nonresident tuition for one year, saving them approximately $12,000.

And it gets even better. While on the scholarship, your student can earn Utah residency, which only takes one year, meaning they’ll pay the in-state rate for the remainder of their time at USU.

Learn more…

Legacy Waiver

In the past the Legacy Waiver has helped children of graduated Aggies, who live outside Utah, attend USU for the same cost as in-state students. The Legacy Waiver is now available to both children and grandchildren of Aggie graduates. Students on this scholarship do not need to gain residency. The waiver saves them roughly $12,000 per year and applies to their entire tenure at Utah State.

            Learn more…

Both of these scholarships are still available for the Fall 2013 semester by applying for admission.  For more information on how to help your children and grandchildren become Aggies and continue the legacy, contact the Admissions Office at 800-488-8108 or visit us online at www.usu.edu/admissions.

Aid Me With Some Aid

In today’s economy, most students and parents are looking for some type of financial aid to offset the costs of college (tuition, fees, books, housing, food, travel, and even recreation).  We’ve all been told that there is money out there.  But where?

From years of working in student recruitment and scholarships, I would like to offer some suggestions that may help you along the way.  

Disclaimer: I don’t profess to have all the answers and the magic key or source to funding.  But I have discovered a few simple things that parents and students can do to help in the process of discovering aid.  Additionally, Utah State University would encourage all students to apply.  Truth be told, not all students will be Aggies.  So the following recommendations are meant for all students, regardless of where they enroll. 

      Be in the Know

a.       Deadlines.  Know the deadlines.  Deadlines often determine the outcomes and many students miss out on financial aid because they simply miss a deadline.  These deadlines apply to scholarships, as well as general financial aid (loans, grants, & work-study).

b.      People.  Know the right people.  Call and introduce yourself to your specific financial aid counselor (or admissions counselor) at your school.  If they don’t know you and your situation, you have missed out on one of the great resources available to you.

c.       Scholarships.  Know what you are applying for.  Is this an academic, involvement, leadership, service, or alumni scholarship?  If so, focus on that key concept.  Selection committees are keenly looking for information and answers to reaffirm your involvement in said application.  Don’t ramble.  Be direct and make your answers personable.

d.      Federal Aid.  Know what type of aid is available.  Federal financial aid consists of loans, grants, and work-study.  When applying, apply for all options.  It doesn’t cost to apply and you can always decline an offer when presented with it.

      

        Federal Aid

a.       Be educated.  If you are like most individuals, you have spent a lot of time on admission related issues: grades, tests, activities, college visits, essay writing, etc.  Focusing on financial aid should be considered early.

b.      Know your EFC (Expected Family Contribution).  Your EFC should be known as you know your SAT or ACT scores.  Students are eligible for aid (grants, loans, work-study) if your EFC is less than the cost of attendance.  To determine this number, visit the EFC calculators at www.collegeboard.com or www.finaid.org.

c.       Submit your taxes early.  You aren’t able to submit your FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid, www.fafsa.ed.gov) until you complete your taxes.  And as deadlines for FAFSA approach quickly each year, you should do your taxes as quickly as possible.  FAFSA application/submission date can make the difference in your award offer.

d.      Don’t be paranoid.  Some individuals don’t want to apply for federal aid as they may not trust the institution with financial records.  All data is maintained within the U.S. Department of Education and is not shared with other federal agencies. 

e.      Be prepared for verifications and complications.  Once you click submit and everything is turned in, expect to hear from university financial aid offices.  Don’t be concerned.  By working with the offices and providing the information requested (in a timely manner), it will actually help your case in receiving aid.

f.        Accepting Aid.  It is okay to accept a loan!  Many students want to graduate debt free.  But this isn’t a reality for everyone.  Before accepting a loan, visit with your financial aid counselor and understand the details of the loan.  I would also suggest you always accept a pell grant and work-study offer.

The most important thing I can suggest is to become acquainted with those involved in the awarding and decision-making process.  In an age of texting, Facebooking, and web browsing, many people overlook the importance of a face-to-face conversation.  When it comes to the opportunity of receiving thousands of dollars in aid, you don’t want to overlook any option that may increase your chances of receiving help.  That help is always found in people.

I am the youngest of four children and by the time I went to Utah State University, my parents had discovered the importance of the steps outlined above.  As a result, I received some aid that assisted me with my bachelors and masters.  It wasn’t always easy and at times I felt discouraged, but after working full time and looking back, I realize that the payoff for the amount of time invested was huge!  Accept my suggestion of putting in the time to see what your options will be.

Some helpful websites to remember:
        FAFSA Application: www.fafsa.ed.gov (never pay to apply for federal aid!)
        EFC Calculators: www.collegeboard.com or www.finaid.org
        USU Financial Aid Office: www.usu.edu/finaid

o   Find helpful Q/As

o   Use hyperlinks to discover more suggestions and recommendations

o   Discover more about the awarding process at USU and then apply to your institution

Hopefully, this provides some information that will benefit you in your discovery.  If you are reading this and you are a senior in high school (or your son/daughter is a senior in high school), then don’t delay!  Now is the time to get answers to all of your questions!  Time is of the essence in receiving aid.

Craig Whyte
BS, 2004.  MBA, 2005
Utah State University

9 Tips for Surviving Your First Year of College

1. Create a communication plan with your family

While it’s important to build independence from your family, it’s also important to let your parents know that you’re still alive. Before you leave, define your “regular basis.” For some students, that means calling home daily. Others might keep in touch via text message alone. Not only does a regular chat ease parental concerns, talking with your family can make the transition to college smoother. It will help battle home sickness but still give you some kind of independence from your parents. 

2. Be Safe

           

An easy way to ease your parents mind is to take care of yourself. When going out at night, be sure to let someone know where you’ll be. When walking at night, don’t go alone. Pay attention to your surrounding and be sure to make smart decisions. Lock your valuables, like your car, bike, laptop, and your dorm room. Program emergency numbers into your cellphone; like the number for Campus Police. One of the services Campus Police provides is personal escorts. A uniformed officer will provide anyone with a personal escort to another location on campus. They can also help with jumpstarts and lockouts.

3. Know your advisor

Get in touch with your advisor as frequently as you need to. Talk to him or her about how to effectively plan your schedule and selection of courses for next semester. They can also help you make sure you are on track to graduate on time.

Your adviser can also help you know which deadlines to look out for. The two most important for incoming freshman are the last day you can drop a class without a penalty and the deadline for the spring semester financial aid. Most deadlines can found on the Registrar’s website.

Note: the Registrar is an official in an academic institution (a college, university, or secondary school) who handles student records. Typically, a registrar processes registration requests, schedules classes and maintains class lists, enforces the rules for entering or leaving classes, and keeps a permanent record of grades and marks.

4. Ask for help if you need it

Your first year of college may be overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from teachers, your advisor or others.   If you are feeling down, visit the Counseling Center. If you are struggling in a class, ask for a tutor or visit your professor during office hours. If you get sick, visit the Health and Wellness Center. If you have roommate problems, talk to your residence hall adviser. If you miss home, call a parent or close friend. College campuses are packed with resources that you have likely already paid for, so don’t hesitate to use them. You won’t be the only one to do so.

Note: One of the coolest services provided by the Counseling Services is Animal Assisted Therapy

5. Eat at least one healthy meal a day

The dining hall buffet lines usually have healthy options, but they might not look as appetizing as the less-healthy comfort foods. And then there is the late-night snacking and calorie-packed beverages. If you have pizza for lunch, opt for a big salad at dinner. Also be aware of the University’s efforts to promote healthy eating. At USU, the Be Well program offers free nutrition consultations. Campus eateries also have signs indicating which foods are healthier than others. 

6. Find the ideal place for you to study.

 

It may be your dorm room or a cozy corner of the library, but find a place that works best for you to get your work done -- while avoiding as many distractions as possible. Some cool secret places to study are the computer labs in Old Main, The 3^rd floor lounge of the Taggart Student Center (TSC), and the basement of the library. 

7. Stay on campus as much as possible.

 

Whether it's homesickness, a job, or a boyfriend or girlfriends from home, try not to leave campus too soon or too often. The more time you spend getting to know the campus and your new friends, the more you'll feel at home at school. And why not take advantage of all the cultural and social events that happen on campus? Make sure to get familiar with the campus activities calendar.

 

 8. Go to football/basketball games

Aggie sports have a mystifying quality of bringing people together for a mutual cause. Take in the excitement of USU students walking to the Spectrum, screaming and holding out their hands like they’re milking cows. It’s one of the best things you’ll experience here. 

9. Keep track of your money.

 

If you've never had to create a budget, now is the time to do so. Find ways to stretch your money - and as best you can, avoid all those credit card solicitations you'll soon be receiving.

           

You've done all the prep work -- you've gotten good grades in high school, scored well on a standardized test, and been accepted into the college you want to attend -- so enjoy all your hard work while laying the groundwork for a successful college career. Don't be a statistic. Be determined to make it through your freshman year -- and beyond. Take advantage of your network of new friends and professors, have fun while learning as much as you can, and get the most out of your college experience.

11 ways to avoid an awkward college send-off

Life as a college newbie has its challenges. For many, the adjustment to foreign surroundings, unfamiliar friends and a new diet of Top Ramen and Pop-Tarts gives them enough time out of their comfort zone to last a lifetime.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to help make that transition as smooth, or as awkward (depending on your preference) as possible. Should you choose to try and make life easier for your child when you drop them off for their first day at college, here are 11 things to remember.

     1.       Saying “hi” to everyone you see can be more than just a friendly gesture. It doesn’t matter if you’re a naturally friendly person. Outwardly greeting every living thing within a 20-yard radius of you and your family is not a great way to start off your son’s new life as a “cool” college student. In fact, it can be (gasp) embarrassing. College kids are social creatures, but they like to socialize on their own terms. You don’t need to do it for them.

      2.       Put the pet names on hold. Nothing says, “my parents still treat me like a kid” more than a pet name. Buddy, Baby, Sport, Champ, Sweetie. Whatever you call your son or daughter at home (unless it happens to be their real name) isn’t going to cut it on move-in day. You’re welcome to try, but if your child stops acknowledging you, don’t say you weren’t warned.

3.       Keep the hugs and kisses out of sight. This is the cardinal rule of parting with your children. Hugs and kisses from Mom and Dad start losing their “cool” factor as early as preschool.  By the time your kids are in college, a farewell kiss has reached the equivalent of a social life assassination. Save the X’s and O’s for a private setting or the next time your kid comes home to visit.

4.       Let them handle the introductions. As much as you’d like to choose who your daughter befriends, you can’t. Anyone you introduce her to during the minimal time she has to move in will most likely not end up becoming her friend anyway. But don’t worry, she’ll develop strong, meaningful relationships with others. In fact, she’ll probably do it more successfully without you by her side, sharing stories about how it seems like just yesterday she was spitting out her peas and smearing them all over her hair.

5.       Don’t ask where the “smart kids” hang out. You may not mean it this way, but asking where the “smart kids” hang out is code for “my kid is not that smart, and could really use some help.” Not a good first impression for your son to make on his future comrades, especially the ladies. If you find yourself tempted to ask a question like this, try starting with something less blatant, like, “can you show us the library, please”?

6.       Remember, they can take care of themselves. “Don’t forget to make your bed, buy deodorant, and take your pills twice a day.” Those are haunting words for a teenager on the brink of college independence. They tell her friends that she’s not responsible enough to take care of herself. She still needs mom to do everything for her. And let’s face it, if they can’t remember to take care of the necessities by the time they reach college, you may want to start worrying about other things; like how they’re going to survive the next four years on their own.

         

7.       Questions about curfew should be saved for later. One of the most exciting things about moving away from home is not having a curfew. Your son is thrilled to have finally graduated to a level of independence that allows him to decide when he goes to bed. Although that can be difficult to accept, it is an unfortunate part of life. Sure, he is going to pull some all-nighters. And they won’t all be spent cramming for an early morning exam. But what would the college experience be without those extra late nights? Asking about curfew does nothing more than embarrass your kid by making him feel like he is still a teenager at home.

    

8.       You’re no longer your child’s personal decorator. Understandably, it would be nice for your daughter to have a clean, cute, and inviting room. And maybe she will. But it is her room, and although you may be paying for it, you’re not the one living in it. Which means it will ultimately end up looking the way she wants it to look. So, as hard as it may be to repress your inner interior designer, move-in day is the time to do it. Your daughter will appreciate your self-control. She’ll also be glad to have a room that represents her, not her parents.

9.       If they leave something in the car, send it later. Once you’ve said your goodbyes and pulled out of the dorm parking lot, your child’s focus shifts. For them, it is time to move forward. Time to finish unpacking, rearranging, and getting acquainted with their roommates. With that said, it can create an awkward situation when you come knocking on the door in the middle of your daughter’s first conversation with her new roommate announcing that she left her favorite pajamas in the car. Unless it is something they absolutely cannot do without, like their favorite pair of jeans, than sending it with a box of goodies when you get home may be a better option.

10.   Go home. When it is time to leave, do it. That time varies for everyone, but most of us have the ability to tell when we’ve over stayed our welcome. Cutting the apron strings can be difficult for some, but if you’re one who struggles with separating from your kids, just be grateful for cell phones and family plans.

  

11.   There is a better time to “hook them up.” Possibly one of the greatest temptations of being a parent: playing cupid. It seems to be a natural human instinct to want to be responsible for matching a loved one with their “soul mate,” especially when that loved one is your own child. Please resist. Your son or daughter will likely find people to date without your years of wisdom or your keen eye for the “keepers” out there. Other opportunities to set your kid up will come. This just isn’t one of them.

So next time you find yourself dropping a child off at college for their first time, remember; you were once a freshman, too. And if you’re tempted to do, or say, anything that just might embarrass your kid, pull this handy list out of your pocket and save both yourself, and your child, from an awkward college send-off.